If Only It Were Different
by Nurmengardx
Summary: When Merlin came to Camelot, the last thing he'd wanted was to fall in love with Prince Arthur, though he wasn't surprised. Ignoring all the character defects, who could resist? One thing he'd never expected, however, was for Arthur to love him back. Merthur.
1. Chapter 1

When Merlin came to Camelot, the last thing he'd wanted was to fall in love with Prince Arthur, though he wasn't surprised in the slightest. Ignoring all the character defects, who could resist? One thing he'd never expected, however, was for Arthur to love him back.

He'd expected to have to hide this, as well as his magic. The strain of keeping these two things from Arthur was almost too much to bear. It showed on his face, how he worked and he knew it. Then Arthur noticed it. He was tired _all _the time and avoided any eye contact with the young prince.

Merlin had to hand it to him, he was a lot sharper than he gave him credit for, he'd figured it out within days of catching him 'borrowing' a dress from the Lady Morgana.

'Why did you hide this from me?' he'd said. Merlin didn't meet his eyes and carried on scrubbing the stone floor.

'It's not exactly legal to be the way I am. Someone like me can expect to be exiled the moment either you, or your father found out. It's unnatural…' he trailed off.

'Did it ever occur to you that it wouldn't matter to me?'

Merlin looked up sharply, but dropped his eyes again self-consciously.

'It doesn't?' he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

'No, Merlin, it doesn't.'

'You don't think it's unnatural or disgusting or anything?' Merlin said, finally meeting Arthur's gaze.

'How can I think myself unnatural or disgusting?'

'What do you- oh!'

Comprehension dawned on his face.

'Perhaps it would be wise to use your brain in future, Merlin. If you even have one that is.'

He clapped him on the back and walked away, giving Merlin a nice view of his backside before he left.

This memory made Merlin smile as he walked across Arthur's chambers to look out of the window. The courtyard always looked so busy, especially on a sunny day such as this, with people bustling about, buying and selling their wares. It always helped him think.

'Merlin,' a voice said behind him. He turned around and smiled as he saw Arthur standing in the door.

'My Lord,' he said, politely inclining his head.

'You don't need to call me that, Merlin,' he said, strolling around the room.

'Well if you'd prefer "Sire"-'

'Merlin!' he said exasperatedly.

'Right, sorry… Your Highness.'

Arthur rolled his eyes, grabbed Merlin around the waist and pulled him on to the bed. Arthur lay down beside Merlin and studied his face, his eyes, his lips…

'You could never resist poking fun at me, could you?'

'Well, you make it so easy,' Merlin teased. Arthur laughed loudly.

'Merlin?'

'Yes?'

'Do you remember our first kiss?'

'How could I forget?' Merlin smiled.

It had just been the two of them walking through the forest, off on a hunting trip, or so Arthur had said. By this time, Merlin's feelings for Arthur had grown to the point that Merlin was sure everyone in Camelot knew.

'What are we even doing out here?' he complained, moodily trying not to stare at Arthur. He'd always loved a man in armour.

'Well, we were tracking a deer, but your lack of skill has, once again, caused us to lose the trail,' Arthur grumbled.

'Right, yes. Of course it's my fault. Nothing to do with the fact that you can't see past your enormous ego.'

'It's not my ego that I have trouble seeing past,' Arthur stated.

'What on Earth is that supposed to mean?' Merlin exclaimed, perplexed. Arthur could be so infuriating sometimes.

'Do you even know how incredibly stupid you are?'

'Yes, Sire, you remind me nearly every five minutes,' he said sourly.

'Ok, let me spell it out for you, Merlin. I have trouble concentrating, not because of my ego, as you so eloquently put it, but because you're here.'

'You've already told me several times today that I'm completely useless, I really don't need reminding, thanks.'

'Oh, this is ridiculous!' Arthur groaned.

'Well, I'm glad we finally agree on something.'

Arthur closed the gap between them, grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and kissed him passionately.

'Arthur, I d-don't-' Merlin stammered.

'I'm not stupid, Merlin-'

'You could have fooled me,' Merlin joked feebly.

'I'm being serious. I do have feelings for you and I know you return those feelings. It couldn't be more obvious if you shouted it from the top of the palace.'

'Arthur, I can't. Your father would banish me from Camelot.'

'Well then, we'd best not parade ourselves in front of him.'

Merlin hesitated.

'Please, Merlin.'

He sighed in resignation.

'For the record, I never said this was a good idea,' he said, before wrapping his arms around Arthur's neck and surrendering himself to the sweet taste of his lips.

Merlin laughed as he reminisced.

'I still say it's a bad idea,' he said.

'Ah but you can't resist my devastating good looks,' smiled Arthur.

'And there's the ego.'

'Merlin!'

He grinned and started tickling Merlin's ribs.

'Arthur, no- _haha_- stop!' he giggled, trying to slap Arthur's hands away.

'What's that, Merlin? You want me to keep going?'

Merlin's protests were incomprehensible past his giggles but finally, Arthur stopped, preferring to pull him in for a hug. Merlin would have liked to stay that way forever, but he had duties to attend to.

'When I'm king, Merlin, things will be different,' Arthur murmured.

'How so?'

'Well, first of all, I'll change the laws so that we can be together. You will sit beside me on the throne.'

'I don't want the throne, Arthur, I'm perfectly happy where I am and, besides, there can't be two kings.'

'Oh you won't be king,' Arthur said brightly.

'No?'

'No, you'll be the queen.'

They burst out laughing and Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand.

'I need to go and muck out the stables.'

He rolled over and heaved himself off the bed.

'Do you have to go?' Arthur whined.

'Yes, and so do you. Uther requires your counsel and you're already late,' Merlin reminded.

'Oh yes,' Arthur sighed, also standing up. 'You'd better wash before you come here tonight.'

'Who said I was coming tonight?'

'I did,' Arthur grinned.

'What makes you think I listen to you?' Merlin smiled mischievously.

'I'm the crown prince of Camelot; you have to listen to me.'

Arthur held Merlin around the waist and Merlin hung loosely from Arthur's neck.

'I'll see you later,' said Arthur.

'Yes, Sire.'

He leaned in and felt the warm pressing of Arthur's lips against his, when,

'Arthur!'

They broke apart in shock, Merlin tripping over one of Arthur's discarded boots.

'Father!'


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin scrambled to his feet and Uther looked astonished, flicking his eyes between the two of them. Arthur watched him warily, waiting for the shock to wear off. Uther's expression then twisted into a furious snarl. Arthur instantly stepped in front of Merlin, blocking him from his father's wrath.

'What is the meaning of this?' he demanded, barely able to speak past his rage.

'Father I- you see it's-' Arthur said, desperately trying to find the words that would placate him.

'Boy- speak!' Uther shouted at Merlin.

'Father it's not his fault, you can't-'

'You will not tell me what to do, especially when I come here to find you doing- this!' Uther snapped, pushing Arthur aside and glaring down at Merlin.

'What were you just doing with my son?' he hissed.

'I was- saying goodbye, my Lord,' Merlin mumbled, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on his feet.

'I suppose you think this is funny, do you?'

'No, my Lord.'

'Do you know that we do not tolerate your kind here in Camelot?' Uther asked.

'Father, please-'

'Silence! And do you know what happens if we ever discover someone like you?'

'No, you can't!' Arthur shouted.

'And why not?' Uther growled.

'Because- because I love him!'

Silence fell in the chamber but Arthur's words rang in his ears. Uther stared at Arthur, his expression unreadable.

'Guards!' he barked and they rushed in. 'Seize him,' he commanded, pointing at Merlin.

'Father, no!'

'Take him to the dungeons,' Uther said, sweeping out of the room. Merlin didn't even struggle against them, he felt numb, too many things were happening at once. Arthur pushed his hands through his hair and Gwen came in just as they were pulling Merlin out of the door.

'What's going on?' she asked, surprised. 'Where are they taking Merlin?'

'To the dungeons. Father's going to banish him,' Arthur said, putting his head in his hands.

* * *

Uther paced around the dining chamber, Gaius stood by the table, waiting for him to say something.

'Did you know about this?' he asked suddenly.

'Know about what, Sire?' Gaius asked.

'Arthur and Merlin,' he said, shivering in disgust.

'What about them, Sire?' Gaius frowned.

'I've just caught them in Arthur's chambers- kissing. Did you know?'

'No, sir, I didn't.' _Oh, Merlin, _he thought, _why can't you make anything simple?_

'I've never heard him express these sorts of- feelings before; there must be something more to it.'

'With all due respect, Sire, perhaps he never mentioned it to you because he was afraid of how you might react, after all it is against the law,' Gaius reasoned.

'Perhaps, but if he has always felt this way then why risk Camelot's reputation now? And for a manservant- he wouldn't, unless…' Uther trailed off and scrutinised Gaius.

'Unless what, Sire?' he asked, silently praying that he wasn't about to say what he thought he was about to say. Uther didn't answer at first, but called in the guards and Sir Leon.

'I want you to search Arthur's chambers and his manservant's immediately.'

'Yes, my Lord. May I ask what we're looking for?' said Leon.

'Yes. You're looking for evidence of sorcery.'

* * *

'Oh, Arthur,' said Gwen. 'You mustn't blame yourself.'

'But it is my fault, Guinevere, I was the one that convinced him to, and now who knows what will happen to him,' he said.

'He'll be fine, Arthur, he'll just go back to Ealdor,' Gwen reassured. Then the door banged open and in strode Sir Leon, followed by four soldiers.

'Sorry, Sire, we've been ordered to search your chambers,' Leon said apologetically.

'What for?' Arthur demanded.

'I'd better go, Arthur, Morgana might need me,' Gwen excused herself.

'What? This is ridiculous!' Arthur exclaimed as Leon directed the guards around the room. One of them rifled through Arthur's drawers while another rummaged under the pillows and pulled out a small bag that smelled like herbs.

* * *

'My Lord, this is completely irrational,' Gaius complained.

'Is it, Gaius? How else do you explain this sudden love for a servant?' Uther said as he bent to look under Merlin's bed.

'But, Sire, think about it, Merlin is not a sorcerer!' Gaius said indignantly.

'How would you know, Gaius?' he said scathingly, pulling all the clothes from the cupboard.

'He's been living with me for years, I like to think I'd have noticed by now.'

Uther threw one last cursive glance around the room, clearly disappointed that he hadn't found anything.

'You see?' Gaius said. There was a crash downstairs and raised voices.

'Sire!' someone called. Uther rushed downstairs to find Sir Leon and a furious Arthur.

'What is it?' Uther asked.

'We found this under Arthur's pillow, my Lord,' he said, holding up the bag of herbs. Uther grabbed it.

'I've seen this before. This is clearly a magical poultice,' he said.

'Don't be stupid, Father, it's not a poultice,' Arthur said.

'Oh really?'

'Yes, really, Merlin puts those under my pillow to calm me during sleep. They freshen my mind for morning training.'

'That's exactly what he wants you to think.'

'Please, Sire, you're being unreasonable!' Gaius cried.

'I know you are fond of the boy, but you will hold your tongue,' Uther said coldly. 'You- bring me the boy,' he ordered Leon.

* * *

Merlin was sitting on the floor of the cell, thinking. He'd always seen this day coming and he thought he'd been prepared for it. There had always seemed to be a way out, but this time Uther had seen them with his own eyes. He supposed he'd have to go back to Ealdor until Arthur was king, but the thought of leaving him was unbearable.

'Merlin?'

Leon's voice broke him out of his reverie.

'Yes?'

'The king wants to see you.'

'Why?' Merlin frowned, surprised. Leon just looked at him sadly and escorted him to the throne room. When they got there, it seemed all of the Royal Court had been gathered. He was brought before Uther and forced to his knees. Uther bent down.

'Do you recognise this?' he asked, throwing the little bag down.

'Yes, those are the herbs I prepare for Arthur, why, is it important?' he said, trying to look for Arthur.

'Do you really think, that after all these years, I can't tell when I'm being lied to, sorcerer?' Uther sneered. A gasp rippled through the gathered crowd.

'You can't be serious,' Arthur's outraged voice called out. So he was here. '_Merlin,_ a sorcerer?'

'And to think, I let you into this castle. I will not make that mistake again,' said Uther, ignoring his son.

'Father, stop it!'

'Why should I? He is a threat to Camelot.'

The court exchanged uneasy looks. Merlin had never been so much as a threat to a rat, let alone the whole of Camelot.

'He's not a threat! The only thing he's ever done is love me!'

Merlin sighed; he could tell that Arthur was only making it worse.

'He's an abomination and he's got you enchanted for who knows what reason!' Uther snarled.

'If he's an abomination, what does that make me?' Arthur demanded. This only seemed to enrage Uther further as he turned back to Merlin.

'I find you guilty of practicing magic and of treason-'

'No!'

'In accordance to the laws of Camelot-'

'I won't let you do this!'

'Restrain him!'

It took five guards to hold Arthur back.

'In accordance to the laws of Camelot- I sentence you to death. You will be burnt at the stake at dawn, now take him out of my sight.'


End file.
